Respect

By Tuesday, we had an X-ray and blood work done to see if we could determine the cause of Jordan's symptoms. All the tests came out positive and only the nausea is left.  Only nausea....sheesh!  I so appreciated the our Canuck House nurse who told me she views nausea as worse than pain - pain you can distract or power through.  Feeling like throwing up is consuming. It is so wonderful not to be minimized.

From Kim's and my perspective it looks like withdrawal from one of the opiates he has had in his system for months.  The last two mornings It has taken until mid morning before Jordan has felt well enough to attend school. Yesterday, he needed to come home before the last class since he just ran out of energy.

I so respect Jordan's willingness to keep trying...to push past his fear...to overcome the frustration of feeling behind.  I don't think I'd be going out in public if i was unsure of if I'd need a bucket or not.  Unless his body starts consistently cooperating - as it did a few weeks ago, he may be looking for another schooling alternative.  We so hope not since we see him enjoy being with other people, feeling aspects of normalcy and just getting out of the house for a purposeful day.  But one day at a time.

As I reread friend Chris' email last night, I was reminded from Deuteronomy 30:19-20 to choose life as I cling to Him who is Life.   The last few days I had been feeling like I was simply holding my breath and was hostage to circumstances.  Amazing again to me of what perspective can bring.  It is a privilege to care for my son and to be able to pick him up at a moment's notice when he is "done in" - to watch him overcome obstacle after obstacle time and again.

The leg mass keeps slowly receding - Come On!

Agreeing for All legs healed and whole

Confusing

Wow, I'm writing a lot.  A lot is happening and the last two days have been excruciating...not what we had hoped for.   Yesterday, until early evening, Jordan experienced a ridiculous amount of nausea - lots of bucket time.  Such a shock after Saturday's good health.  This morning, from the moment he opened his eyes, it was a battle.
From chills and feverishness to severe nausea to pins and needles.  So he missed school.  We drove to the parking lot but the nausea was so profound that he decided to wait until it subsided. What to do with fear has become a reoccurring topic.

In working with Canuck House on his meds, we are trying to determine what his body is reacting to.  It's a baffling puzzle that carries very real consequences.

At one point, when Jordan was struggling with sudden pain, he grabbed his legs and yelled "I'm going to trust You God when things are good and when things are hard....when I'm in pain and don't understand!  I'm going to trust You no matter what!" Oh my heart.

An in the calm moments of the storm Jordan tells us he loves us.  Tonight, as he went to bed, he asked what I thought Kim loved to do the most.  When I answered with play guitar and worship, he requested that Kim spend some time doing just that.  How does a 15 year old look past his suffering to consider the needs of his parents?  We must have looked pretty haggard.  We sure felt helpless.

There's always tomorrow.

Compassion

Curry Blake (a favourite teacher on healing) defines sympathy as making someone comfortable in their suffering and compassion as helping someone out of their suffering.  Our tolerance for pain and disease as a family has diminished.  That was evidenced on our drive home from Jordan's aunt Denise's 50th birthday party.

It is important to understand that Jordan's relationship with his aunt is pretty special.  She was a regular visitor during his stay at Children's hospital, acted as chauffeur on several key trips to and from the airport, and played a significant role in caregiving during a particularly traumatic night of vomiting in a hotel room.  It's so true that when someone sees you at your most vulnerable and weak and loves you well, it creates a bond.   So that is the back ground for our drive home. When we rehearsed the evening's events, I mentioned how wonderful it was that Denise could eat all the delicious food.  I reminded Jordan of the celiac disease which has caused her great discomfort, frustration and pain since she was a young woman.
His response came loud and clear from the back of the van where he was lying down.  Jordan began speaking to the disease and commanding it to leave his aunt's body in the authority given him by Jesus.  He spoke to her body and declared it whole and healthy, able to digest any food she would choose to eat.  Frankly, his vehemence and urgency took me by surprise.  But then it makes sense.  He has experienced suffering and is not okay with anyone - especially someone he loves, to be held hostage.  So now Kim and I are agreeing with him - that his aunt's birthday present will be a healed body.

Also, just got a call from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police that they have found our truck in West Kelowna – looks undamaged. We’ll get it tomorrow. Nice. Thank you Jesus.

School Day Two and Family Pics

Darlene: Well, we started off the second day of school rocky with nausea so Jordan took a ride round outside for a bit and then entered second period.  And....made it all the way through to the end of the day. And Jordan is able to be tutored in grade 9 Math this semester so he can begin Math 10 with the rest of the class in his new year.  Yahoo! He was exhausted and sore (his back from sitting up so long) but thankful.  His friends are pretty protective and excited for Jordan's milestone.  High fives all around.

Kim: Yesterday, we had a home visit from our great paediatrician, Dr. Tom. At the end, he said, “If there anything else I can do, let me know”. I said that he could pay off our mortgage. We all laughed, but he did say that he would pay off ours after he had paid off his. So that’s great news. We love the intent of the question of "anything I can do", but have found that we are not sure what to say in response. What are the people actually offering? A handshake, a prayer, some groceries or a new truck? So, here is what we have found most helpful – when people offer specific things or a list of things. For example, a few months ago a friend of ours, Kim, offered to photograph our family. We were so excited. Jordan wanted to wait until his hair returned and we wanted Matt and Joel home for our very first family shoot…ever. She is amazing and along with her assistants: husband Steve and daughters Sadie and Chloe (5 and 3), made the whole experience a hoot.

Here are some of the results:

Celebration!

Lookee who attended grade 10 classes this morning?  No nausea to hinder. Jordan's buds were there to greet him as he emerged from the car.  Great guys!  Check out their names, Jesse, Jordy, Jordan and Jordan.  No joke!  And there are still more Jordans in his grade 10 class.  

Jesse, Jordy, Jordan and Jordan

He made it through 3 1/2 classes before he had pain...and it wasn't a huge deal.  He came home early but is looking forward to returning tomorrow.  Huge!  We are celebrating.

When we compared notes with Jordan, we found that just when Kim and I were praying healing for a man sitting near us in the park, Jordan's pain began.  He hasn't had any for days.  That kind of thing only makes us more determined to pray for those who are suffering.

Oh, and did I mention that his leg has 13.5 cm to go?  Yahoo!

Seriously?

Woke up yesterday morning to discover our pick-up truck had been stolen.  It was my Dad's and given to us after he moved to heaven.  Yes, there was insurance on but it was also the mode of transport for Jordan's power wheel chair...sheesh. Yet Kim and I looked at each other and noted how compared to what Jordan is going through, the theft was no big deal to us. Perspective, right?

It has been a roller coaster of nausea and pain over the past three days with lots of commanding and believing.  And tonight – he is feeling much better. He is thanking Jesus and listening to some great worship music and teaching on healing.  He is overcoming.

It is amazing how nourishing Jordan's smile was to us in between his bouts of nausea.  

Decisions

The decision is made; Jordan is choosing KCS, a smaller private Christian school.  It was not an easy decision for Jordan - it just came down to less stress. There are 2 classes of grade 10 - 50 students as opposed to over 800 at the public school he was originally expecting to attend.  His first day is Wednesday since they need Tuesday to bring the teachers up to speed and make the necessary adjustments.

Kim is planning on returning this week to begin to rebuild his consulting/counselling business that he stepped away from at the beginning of the year.  We have been supported and sustained by loving friends and family financially through this journey.  We are sooo grateful!  We have not had to sell our home in the midst of it all to pay bills or try to keep working when our heart was with Jordan. This is our step of faith, believing that Jordan will be able to attend school and not require both of our full-time attention.

Today has been a day of prayer.  Jordan has gone from groggy to violent nausea all day long.  We were so looking forward to a marshmallow roast on the beach since the campfire ban was lifted.  Or a car trip.  Or a boat ride.  Anything fun!

But instead, we get more practice at praying and remaining and believing and commanding - Jordan included.  We are so proud of him.  I would be whining and complaining and looking for sympathy.  He thanks us, tells us he loves us and encourages us to take breaks.  Tonight he changed the bicycle horn protocol:  one or two squeezes means ‘Please come’, lots of squeezes means ‘Hurry and pray out loud while you come so I can hear’. :-)