I've thrown open the doors wide to the back forest and am writing this overlooking the beauty all around me. If you’d like a peek at the place we've been given to house sit, take a look on-line at
http://www.sutton.com/listings/view/319477. This is a free advert for them as well. What sweet new friends. Such a gift. The home is so light and fresh on a quiet cul de sac surrounded by supportive neighbours, especially our next door neighbours who love Jesus.
|Matt in the Back Yard|
Tomorrow is Jordan’s 16th birthday and I found myself wanting to write about it. I have not been a writer, or a journaler so this whole journey has been kind of surreal for me. Attempting to let you inside my heart from a distance is still relatively new. The last month has been filled with loads of dreams, conversations with believing Believers, worshipping, commanding sickness to leave broken bodies, biographies of those who pioneered walking in kingdom authority in North America, hiking, floating, and basking.
Yesterday we floated down the Cowichen River for the second time in two weeks. This time we ended up at the pull out where we adventured as a family ten years ago. Our sons with us, we tubed and body surfed through rapids with rock walls and towering trees on either side. The trip ended in cliff jumping. We hiked to and from this somewhat remote and hidden gem on Vancouver Island. The boys had caught a bucket of crayfish to be cooked and sautéed. A new experience for us all.
The entire time we were guided by a wonderful friend who had frequently traversed the river for the past 26 years. Bruce told us when it didn't matter where we floated and when we had to paddle hard to one side, avoid a big rock, or fallen tree and paddle hard to the other. He told us what to do if we tipped over and were caught in the undertow or without a tube. It so reminded me of Heavenly Father then and it made me think again of His guidance yesterday. Sometimes it really doesn't matter where in the river I go and sometimes it really does.
All day long I was reminded of Jordan and both painful and precious images arose in my mind’s eye. I missed his squeal of delight sliding down the slick rock formations on the God-formed waterslide. Or his serious face when he would contemplate a potentially dangerous rapid. At the same time, I know I’m not grieving as one without Hope. And my Hope is not the “cross your fingers” kind of Hope. Hope has a name. Hope is Jesus. I’m anticipating eternity with both Jesus and Jordan and my Dad - on adventures that don’t include the words “Be careful”.
I think I written before that my Dad stepped into heaven’s entrance the morning of Jordan’s 13th birthday. (I haven’t reread the blog posts - not quite ready yet to relive the entire story in one sitting). I can’t imagine my Dad not being right beside Jesus when Jordan arrived. My Dad suffered for so long on earth with a body that had received partial healing but never enough to be called completely healthy. Now they are probably egging each other on to test the limits - if there are any - to their new bodies.
While this time away was initially Kim’s idea....it was a brilliant one. It has provided space for asking the question since being a mother/caregiver is no longer one of my primary roles, where does my focus lie? Jesus is reintroducing me to His Holy Spirit and I am coming undone by His tenderness and power. I am getting just a glimpse of His crazy love for people - all kinds - the ones I bump into every day on the lake, or in the supermarket or on the street.
So tomorrow Jordan would have been 16 in earth years. Our youngest was so excited to drive. He started asking about motors, city layouts, traffic laws and technique when he was 14. Ever since the boys were little, I’ve told them that I couldn’t wait until they drove me around. That was a statement of faith. :-)
When your birthday lands on July 20th in Canada, you can bet on having it mostly outdoors and involving lots of activity, preferably in and around water, and an icecream cake if you’re in our family. So Kim and Matt and I are heading out to play tomorrow in celebration of Jordan. The only certainty is a stop at Dairy Queen for some icecream...who knows, we may even go on a whale-watching boat. Jordan and I loved dolphins and whales...I think we’re too far north for dolphins. But we have whales and seals in abundance. It’s Joel’s day off as a camp counsellor so we’ll call him and instruct him to head to an ice cream shop somewhere in Saskatchewan so we can cheer Jordan together. So if you happen to enjoy icecream or frozen yogurt or anything cold and creamy - raise a toast with us to Jordan - a gift to us all.