Monday, 30 July 2012

We Have Movement!

After some great prayer ministry last night

we are headed home and decided to take a short detour to see some redwoods and a great beach.

Paul Bunyan's Boot

We are spending the night in Grant’s Pass, Oregon and headed to Washington tomorrow.

Alright … we measured tonight as we did last night and instead of growing, Jordan’s leg has shrunk by .7cm….we chose to freak out….get excited and praise God!  Feel free to do a little dance now with us.  Will write more about the weekend later… we’re tired and heading to bed.

Saturday, 28 July 2012

Feels Like Home

It was so good and so hard last night.  We were right back in a similar atmosphere to our spiritual home church, Toronto Airport....with school of ministry students and where Jordan was born and dedicated.  My tears just flowed when the singing began.  It was as if  I was choking on my own desperation.

Early on in the worship, Jordan told me that  felt he heard to ask the "loud lady worshipper" behind him to pray for him and he did...and she did so, beautifully.  When I glanced back at him part way through the next song, his face was awash in tears.  He had heard that he would see his healing as she prayed and was so hurt.  He pulled out his DS to play while listening (and critiquing) the rest of the service.

The message, although scattered, was for us..."Victory in the not yet" from Isaiah on inviting the barren woman to rejoice in her children.  Choosing faith before we see the answers to our prayers because after we receive what we've believed for, then we can only respond in gratitude, not faith.  When the altar call came for those who want victory while living in the not yet, Kim raced up the aisle pushing Jordan in the wheelchair.  And then followed a celebration tunnel of prayer where each one of us was flanked by staff or much like our spiritual homebase...and so nice to not be leading - just receiving.

This morning the Healing Rooms were great, the people so kind and selfless. One lady who had been legally blind for 50 years went from seeing shapes to clearly reading the first page and 1/2 of a two page eye chart while we were being prayed for....I love the God of miracles!   The volunteers listened to Jordan's struggle with no judgement or advice and prayed as well for Kim and for me.  I found myself needing to step apart for a bit.  Oh my heart. Jordan is so open about being unsure that he has much faith left after this protracted journey but he doesn't understand that his willingness to receive prayer is faith.  His frustrated dependence on God is faith.  His impatience with the seeming lack of evidence is faith.  And then he gets back in the RV on his couch/bed and tells his body to obey God.  

Kim treated us to a boat ride on gorgeous lake Shasta.  Steep, red eroded banks with stunning evergreen island surrounded by brilliant blue water.  Our little fishing boat had a canopy, perfect for Tucker and Jordan.  

The best boat $31 can buy

Planning on watching the movie Sahara together tonight on the computer.  
Loved the talk with both Matthew and Joel today.  They have a week off camp - so wish they could be with us.  They are missing us and hoping to squeeze home at the end of August before school starts the beginning of September.  Love hearing them pray for their brother over the phone and watching Jordan receive their words with expectation.  

Friday, 27 July 2012

Postcards from the Road

We are pulling away from my brother's home near Seattle as I write this.  The challenge of driving through the mountains towing 9,000 lbs was a first for Kim...but yesterday brought a blown tire on the freeway with a subsequent broken bar that put pressure on the good tire.  Seconds before the driver pulled up beside us to gesture toward  our quickly shredding tire, I was thinking and praying about our safety on the road.  What should have taken 4 hours, took 8. So grateful for my brother's and sis-in-law's assistance and hospitality.

Jordan's lower leg and foot was so swollen last night, it looked painful, but was down significantly this morning.  We are trying to keep it up most of the time. Our trusty Schnoodle (sounds like a pastry), Tucker is loving the adventure although you would think he is concerned about being left behind the way he is first into the truck or into the RV.  As Jordan's sleeping companion he is known to walk over Jordan's stomach to get down rather than find an alternate route.  Jordan is sleeping well and has mostly a good appetite. Having the bathroom just two hops away from his bed at night is handy.

Jordan is consistently a source of laughter...whether it be a little silly dance to a jazz song or commenting on how dark his computer screen is while wearing his sunglasses.  So glad we all like each other.  It would stink to be stuck together if we barely tolerated one another.  Yesterday I enlightened Jordan on the ways I wasn't a great big sister.  His response was "you've obviously changed.".  Why did that warm my heart?

We hope to arrive in Eugene, OR tonight and Redding sometime tomorrow afternoon.  There are services Friday night and Sunday morning with the Healing Rooms open Saturday 9am to 10:30am.  Probably head home Monday morning or whenever we know it's time.

So if you pass us by, (and if you are traveling south on I - 5, you probably will because we're in the slow lane), you'd see: Kim maybe with his Aussie hat on munching on sugar snap peas, Tucker leaning up against him, surveying his domain, Jordan with His laptop open and ear buds in bopping to some music or laughing at a sitcom, and me sometimes reclining in the back seat wondering.....about a great many things.

Friday morning
Well our first Walmart parking lot sleepover. Worked great until the hedge trimmers set up next to us early this morning - Jordan slept blissfully on, Kim and I giggled.  Now for a stop at Starbucks so we can post this as or you all know we are alive and well and pressing on.
"'Cause we've already won" as Jordan is whistling and humming.

Monday, 23 July 2012

Road Trip of Hope

I wanted a birthday gift of significant improvement for Jordan.....even a lessening of the swelling would be great.

Sometimes I feel badly taking Tucker for a walk - Jordan can't.  I find myself zooming around the house or running up the stairs and sadness descends because Jordan can't. Instead he is required to ask for help...for me to be his legs and arms since his crutches prohibit him from carrying much of anything.  What is it like for a young man who used to open the door for me to be so reliant, so dependent on others?

For a few hours during his birthday weekend, Jordan's surprises brought a much needed distraction from all of that for all of us.  His friends swarmed our car when we stopped for a fruit smoothie and "kidnapped" him - taking him to a movie and then home to a party with games and ice cream cake - among other treats.  Most of these young men he has known since we moved to Kelowna 12 years ago.  They haven't backed off - even though it must be tempting sometimes. They pray for him, encourage him and cheer him on

Sunday we decided to take the plunge starting tomorrow morning, and do a road trip to Bethel Church in Redding, CA  where several friends have gone to learn to pray for the sick and seen marvelous results.  We will take it in smaller increments since pulling an RV over the mountains can be grueling.   Kim and I have often wanted to visit there but never under these circumstances.  We will be going to receive.  Early on we told Jordan we wouldn't quit so we are just going to keep on hitting this thing.  Jesus already paid the's time to collect.

As I measured out our meds tonight to ensure Jordan has plenty for the trip, it physically hurt.  Oh to only take what we need for one way.  The last few nights bedtime has been teary for all of us as we pray, ask, command and bless.  Hope is expensive sometimes.

Friday, 20 July 2012


Tuesday afternoon we decided to go camping in Oliver (1 1/2 hours from home) using my Mom's RV.  In spite of a split tire and arriving at the campsite only to find they don't allow pets during the busy season we had a mostly uneventful, relaxing time. Kim was brilliant on all counts.  After the campsite mini-fiasco, I found myself in tears....just tender.  We ended up at a quieter, more secluded lake-side campground and enjoyed the gorgeous scenery and change of pace.  
The most difficult part were the nights when I was just behind the curtain, close enough to hear Jordan's pleading with Father God.  The swelling hasn't allowed for him to fully extend his leg or wear his shoes.  He sometimes describes it as being trapped in his body. I know some of our friends can relate to that...I'm not okay with that for anyone....starting with my son.

Is it possible to be grateful and disappointed?  We are surrounded by love and kindness and yet Jordan's symptoms stare us in the face moment by moment taunting us in our hope. We returned home Thursday to celebrate Jordan's 15th birthday weekend.  Today included an indoor extended family picnic - full of love and laughter. Since conserving energy is a consideration we've decided a weekend is required to do justice to this milestone.  

Our friend, Bruce, from Vancouver Island called to say he is coming up with his wife to pray for Jordan in a few weeks and is bringing him gifts for his 18th and 20th birthdays.  Made my heart sing.
Kim's Dad built a beautiful shelving unit to hold Jordan's Lego creations, later his books and treasures in college and later life.  These gifts speak of a future for Jordan.

And then just before bed, Jordan enters the room with a large grin on his face, shoots us with a concealed water pistol and my heart breaks into song again!

Monday, 16 July 2012

Shout Aloud

Yesterday morning we met for our family gathering where we each bring something.   Kim brought a passage of Scripture - I had us each draw a picture of where we were with God, but Jordan started us off with a song by David Crowder titled  "We win".  While having heard it on Jordan's playlist, I hadn't paid attention to the words.  Though he confessed feeling tired and weary and just plain sad, these were the words he wanted us to think on.

We're gonna shout loud, loud until the walls come down
Shout loud, loud until the walls come down

Cause we've already won and you don't have a chance
Yeah it's already done and you don't have a chance
Because we've already won
We have already won

Shout loud until the final sound
This is for His glory!

We have already won!

Wow!  This lead to us listen to the passage on Jericho in the book of Joshua.  What the people of God did was just crazy - completely illogical - but they trusted in God's Word and marched around that city and then simply shouted and the walls came down.  Our wall is so big  - Jordan's thigh is bigger than ever and his his leg and foot are now swollen and our response to all this is illogical to some but brings a smile to Jesus.

We are so grateful that pain is under control and the nausea at a minimum, Jordan's appetite is back (often eating a Hobbit second breakfast) and he is sleeping well, but we are not content with that.  Jordan won't let us be.  Out of the blue he will regularly ask us to pray in agreement with him that the cancer would disappear and his body would be fully restored.

Oh yes, and the clown fish's name is officially "Biff"

And below is a cartoonist's rendering of the three of us at the mall yesterday.
He has hair!

Saturday, 14 July 2012

Boats and Dreams

Kim’s turn to write
The first sentence is always the hardest. We believe that you really care and can only guess that if we sat down for coffee, you would ask how we are doing. Overall, we live mostly in hope.  We are standing in what Jesus said and commanding this sickness to go. We enjoy each other and catch ourselves laughing and then crying. We seek to draw out the thoughts of the heart and honour wherever each is at while inviting to truth and life.  At this moment though, we are all feeling quite vulnerable and tired.  Things that would normally be simple can be overwhelming – like our yard work this morning.

Many smiles and ahhh’s came from the last two days when we spent time on a boat in Kalamalka Lake and at our friends’ pool.  Here’s a video and a pic of the boat ride.  Being near God’s creation brings perspective and refreshment.

During our last prayer time, our friends blessed Jordan to receive revelation through dreams. That night, he had a vivid dream in a medieval setting where two giants were overwhelming a fortress until one archer, who just would not quit, began counterattacking. Just before awakening, Jordan witnessed the main giant wavering. God spoke to Jordan in his language and in a way that encouraged him to be tenacious.  And for that, we are very thankful.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Steadfast Love

Radiation treatment is over. And today, Jordan had a spinal MRI. Tests are not his favourite thing. Our daily trips to the cancer clinic are over. Yahoo!  We've been celebrating after each treatment this week with a trip to our favourite lakeside park.  Under the canopy of gorgeous willows the three of us have enjoyed reading and talking with the cooling breeze providing relief from the sudden heat wave.

There are moments when it all seems so previous summers.  All that is missing are the Frisbees, badminton racquets, and swim suits.

In nine days Jordan will turn 15.  My dad was miraculously awakened from a tetanus coma when he was 14.  He was one in three Canadians who survived that year.  We believe this is part of Jordan's inheritance.  And now my father is part of that great cloud of witnesses cheering us on....

For all those contending with us for Jordan's complete restoration - Plan A - what Jesus paid for, thank you.  God's steadfast love is mirrored in you.  We've had several friends who have been over to lay on hands this week.  As a family, we are constantly reminded that we are NOT alone.

Monday, 9 July 2012

Our Daily Bread

How can we consistently experience the full range of emotions sometimes within one hour, never mind one day?  Laughter and a sense of freedom on our friends' boat one minute and then shock and a stab of fear when Jordan glances down at a suddenly swelling ankle.  Gratitude for lessened pain and irritation with life seemingly on hold.  Deep frustration with inability to grasp a math concept followed by an equally deep appreciation for committed friendship.

We are given enough each day to make it through.  Our relationship with Jordan is remarkably strong.  His sense of mischief and joy is alive and well.  At this moment he is whistling on his way to bed after a grueling day. But I don't want him to have to be strong anymore.  At least for a few weeks or months....

Saturday, 7 July 2012

We Come Boldly

A verse Kim keeps reminding us of is Hebrews 4:16.  We are in need. We need mercy in any way that we have made mistakes or not done what we needed to do. We need grace to receive what is already been given to us in our inheritance in Christ. And we get to come to God boldly because of what Jesus did for us.  Boldly and confidently because He told us to. How amazing is that?

As a family we've talked about the option we had of just encouraging Jordan to resign himself to what the prognosis is and to just enjoy each day he can.  Sometimes it has felt almost cruel to hope - to expect - to believe for his healing.  Jordan's response has been that he can't imagine living without that hope and expectation.  While there has been incredible disappointment over it taking so long, he has been fueled by others' prayers.

I long for the morning that we hear Jordan's feet coming down the hallway and not the sound of his crutches hitting the ground....walking and leaping and praising God.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

A Blur of Joy

These last few days have provided a continuous stream of grateful outburst: ”I’m so thankful I’m not in the hospital.  I’m so glad I don’t have a VAD in my chest anymore.  Wow, it’s so good to have delicious treats, cousins, friends, Tucker….”  The list goes on and on - including the prominent absence of pain and nausea as unwelcome companions.
With all of this has come an increase in energy, sparkle, humour and creativity.  Yesterday morning Jordan asked for modeling clay and set up shop in the dining room to design a “clay-mation” with a camera given to him by the Children's Wish Foundation and a Macbook Pro given to him by Team Jordan. 

To watch him move beyond the regular distractions was such a joy for us as parents.  Despite the radiation treatment that turned out to be more uncomfortable and extended than normal, his energy bounced back to later include a trip to the mall and the Cheap Tuesday showing of Spiderman, complete with uncle and cousin.  As adults, we just kept looking at each other, smiling and shrugging to keep pace with Jordan.  Wowee!
And yet throughout the days and nights, we would walk in on Jordan’s out loud prayers which while including gratitude were also instructions to his body, his mind and to the disease that has stolen so much.  The phrase Keep on Keeping On leaps to mind… Jordan soo longs to be free. We have never seen him pray and command with so much faith and authority.
Cards, letters, phone calls and emails with words of love, blessing and hope have really blown me away in what kind of a lift I experience from them.  Unexpected gifts which could only have been conceived in the heart of God providing comfort and surprise.  A massage for me, an ice cream maker to make healthy treats,  a cheque to help cover being able to focus on Jordan and not attempt to juggle work as well, fresh fruit, offers of help with the gardening and housecleaning….such a full heart.

Sunday, 1 July 2012

Who Knew?

All of a sudden yesterday afternoon we noticed that Goob's tentacles were turning black and shrinking. And then hours later, he returned to his normal, lovely self.  Thanks to the internet we have determined that he was either stressed or a bit constipated....seriously. Who knew that sea anemones could become stressed?

Kim is home after a great trip to Dallas. It was interesting for him to be preaching and ministering in the midst of the most significant battle we have ever been in. But we don’t want the enemy to determine what we do. Jesus alone determines that.  Joel is almost at his camp in Saskatchewan - Matthew is so excited to have his brother join him. They used to argue a fair bit as kids so it’s amazing to see them consider each other as best friends.  Jordan and I were kept company by friends and family while Kim was gone.  We spent yesterday afternoon in the sunshine praying, reading and enjoying Tucker.  It has been touchy with the pain that comes and goes. From Jordan's perspective, praying out loud for someone in their presence makes such a difference.  He loves it even over the phone…

Our paper boy came by.  He had been an elementary school friend of Jordan's and had enquired earlier as to how things were going.  I felt for him as he obviously cared but had no idea what to say.  Who does?  When people tell me they don't know what to say...I tell them that I don't know either.  How can it be 6 months and I still awaken surprised that my youngest son is not whole?
It is unimaginable.  And we are surrounded by such love and support.  How can others make it without?