July 20th. I can still hear the way Jordan emphatically and proudly pronounced July 20th when asked the date of his birth. How can I still remember that when I haven’t heard his voice for over two and a half years? But I can. Being a summer baby had real advantages. No school. Hot days. Beach parties or boating parties or waterslide parties - all celebrating friends, health youth, and being in or near the water. And wherever it was held, no matter how high the temperature, we managed to enjoy a Dairy Queen ice cream cake with whatever image had caught Jordan’s interest that year. Cakes were decorated with dinosaurs, trucks, pirates, later on, superheros and inside jokes as his humor became more sophisticated. Our family revels in a good party - one that celebrates both the guests and the host. Jordan loved his birthdays. Such lovely memories. What a privilege to be given the opportunity of mothering Jordan.
I didn’t know we’d only get 15 with him. I thought we’d have loads together. I just assumed the celebrations would include graduations, an engagement, a wedding and grandchildren. Jordan spoke often about the anticipation of making his wife feel precious and valued. His new word was cherish. That is the perfect word to describe how Jordan made me feel. “Mom....I love you” followed by a slow smile and a strong hug were my daily fare. I took for granted I would be enjoying them the rest of my life. Now I anticipate heaven where affection will be better than ever.
Although I know and have experienced God working things out for good, I know that Jordan’s suffering and premature death were not His plan. And I grieve for the young men and women that didn’t get a chance to know Jordan and experience his curious questions, goofy ideas, and loyal friendship. I’m sorry for the hurting strangers who won’t know his bold offer to pray for their healing and salvation. But I’m here.
We’re here and we get to make the most of every opportunity we have while we are still here. I love what I read recently about every square on our calendar being a box, not to fill up with stuff but as a gift to unwrap. This thought challenges my tendency to live either in the past or the future. The constant reminders of Scripture and almost every other plaque in HomeSense, is to
Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow and Live Today
So I cherish my years of being cherished by my youngest child, who received his love from his relationship with Jesus.
And I dream of tomorrow, when our family will raise an ice cream toast to Jordan and share about our anticipated reunion with him, and my Dad and face to face with Heavenly Father.
Today...I will live, unwrapping the day with Holy Spirit, trusting Him to guide my thoughts and my actions.