Holding Hands

It is strange how much we can communicate to each other now with a hand squeeze. Depending on the strength, length and intensity, we barely need to use words.  Though the suffering is definitely shared among us, Joel is the one right now who "just knows that Jordan will be all right".

What brings the tears to my eyes is to witness Jordan's wrestle with God.  It's crushing.  This is the boy who would ask for prayer before he'd ask for a bandage.  Pain is so disorienting.  Sometimes I can barely believe is is May and we've been riding this wave for so long.

Dear people are praying everywhere with all they know to pray...joining faith with ours.
Some have seen the dead raised, others are brand new at this - but we are all in...where else can we go?

God Knows

When we arrived in Seattle to make our connection for Dallas, we found ourselves waiting on a wheelchair attendant who was moving too slowly for my liking.  We had a connecting flight with customs, baggage transfer and 3 trains to catch in a very tight window of time.  I found myself becoming irritated.

When we finally made it to customs, Kim was asked the purpose of our visit by the agent.  Rather than be evasive, Kim responded that we were going for our son to receive prayer for healing...and referred to Jordan in the wheelchair.  The attendant's eyes widened and she started moving quicker.  But it wasn't until we were in the first train that she told us she had been completely paralysed when she was 36 and completely healed after receiving prayer.  Rose leaned down to Jordan and encouraged him to keep on believing.  Of course tears began running down my face.

After promising to pray for and declare Jordan's healing, we parted ways.  We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.  Sheesh!  And after I had been so peeved with her, not only did she give me courage for the journey but we arrived in plenty of time to board. :-)
God knows.

2000 Year Old Words

Recently Kim was asked by his sister, Kathy what God is saying to him in all this.  His response was interesting to me as it echoes my own.  He said that during this time he needs words that are older than 10 minutes.  That has surprised even us since a big part of life in the last decades have been conversing with God - testing what we hear and leaning into His words.

Yet Scripture is where we sink our teeth and rest our head and wrestle.  I have read more of the Bible in the last months than I remember in years.  I needed to know if this can possibly be God's will.  If it is, then I submit, even if I don't understand.  If it is not His will, then I will take the authority He has given me and fight.  Even when I rest.


Jordan asked us to measure his lower thigh.  It has grown.  Not really a surprise since it has been hot and hurting for a week now. So will I live by faith or sight?  I have been teary these last days and the "what ifs" seem as certain as when the doctor's predicted them.  And yet, there is a difference between what is real and what is true.  Scripture is true.  God's power and faithfulness is true.  And the miracles I and my family have witnessed are true. And this disease is not His will!

The Receiving End

God's kindness and watchful caring surround us.  We returned to a clean home, a freshly made quiche in the fridge and a mown lawn thanks to some wonderful people.  Tucker as always has loved his time at the spa (our aunt's retirement resort) and is consistently available for hugs, scratches and walks.

Having Joel home is such a gift.  His quick and ready response with helping, humor or caring just holds our arms up.  His attentiveness to his baby brother's needs literally warms my aching heart.

Jordan was so looking forward to coming home.  With his body now requiring pain meds, his focus has moved back to getting healed.  We had initially hoped to head to the John G Lake healing centre near Dallas, TX after the cruise but Jordan really wanted to be home.  So now that he is ready, we've used the last of our points to schedule a flight on Monday for a week or more.  Wonderful friends have already found us a car to use.  We've been given so much....it is humbling to be so well loved.

I like the giving part of life.  Being in a place to truly need - prayer, healing, support, and understanding is soo strange.  I don't know what to do with it all.  Weep usually

What a Trip!

When we last met with Jordan's doctors in Vancouver, they ensured that we were loaded up on narcotics for our trip, along with a note granting permission to be carrying such powerful drugs.  Until our flight home Saturday evening, there was no need to even crack the zip-locked bag that I had stashed away out of sight.  It wasn't even unpacked to that point.

Jordan was loath to consider taking anything. What a battle inside we are all waging.  To cap off Mother's Day we went to see the superhero movie The Avengers. I am the mother of 3 sons after all and therefore heavily influenced :-). It was so strange to catch myself praying throughout. Even though I knew these heroes couldn't lose, I felt their vulnerability.  Christ in me.  Christ in us.  With all the authority that has been given to Him and He has given to us, why did Jordan require another pain pill?  I don't get it.  I know what is true, and then there is my life experience.
Kim is finished putting together some pics to share on the blog (see below).  Amazing to me how each image captured brings a rush of emotion. The full gamut too...we had tears from both laughter and pain.  Even on the midnight flight to Kelowna, Kim and Joel feigned wide-eyes interest in the stewardess' instruction on exits, seat buckles, etc until Jordan and I were snorting.  They had the pamphlet upside down.  The flight attendant, of course, giggled throughout.


Just click on this links below and watch the movies. They are large files and you will need a free Quick Time movie player to view them. 
California Pictures
Hawaii Pictures

Kauai

I’m up early, as usual with the time change, and don’t mind it a bit.  The views from our balcony are stunning.  A personal tour of the bridge by the Captain and a helicopter ride over Waimea Canyon – place Jurassic Park was filmed are on the itinerary for the day in Kauai.  I awoke with “Be anxious for nothing… but in everything by prayer and supplication, make your requests known unto God.”  Yesterday Jordan’s joy was almost lost in his increased discomfort from his right leg and the ensuing discouragement.    It is easy to go to the worst case scenario and in the middle of this wonderful gift of a family vacation to paradise, there is still the potential to have our peace stolen.

I’m still in awe of the fact that a little over a month ago I asked Father for our family vacation to be restored.  What a restoration! Yesterday we moored in Kona and snorkelled in what felt like an aquarium.  The fish were so varied, plentiful and close.  Too close for Jordan’s comfort.  One bit his toe!  Stunning coral and warm water on a volcanic beach.  We are renting a van every day instead of taking excursions.  Besides the cost of them, they are restricting.  When Jordan has the energy, we stay longer.  When he is done, so are we. 

The staff on board are so attentive to Jordan.  He has received hugs and he doesn’t mind.  Every night there are new towel animals on his bed or hanging from a plant (monkey).  Chocolate covered strawberries arrived as a gift before dinner one night.  There have been binoculars, mugs, pins and hats.  Several mornings he has ordered and eaten two breakfasts.  One usually includes a little filet mignon…..seriously.  How am I going to cook for him after this?

The memories Jordan is making with his older brothers are amazing:  Rolling in the surf, creating giant sand castles, raiding the diner for soft serve and enjoying a comedic show with audience involvement.  Tim, the comedian was an instructor for Second City and one of his trademarks is a clean act….nice!  He held a class in improve last night and had Joel as part of the event.  Tim invited Jordan, but he felt too unsure with his cane.  I just wanted to chuck it overboard.  Enough already.

Oh and a scale is conveniently placed in our bathroom.  Jordan is now touching 110 pounds.  We won’t include our weights. J

Smiles

Amazing! We are on the third day of our cruise and this is turning out to be one our best times away as a family. But it didn’t start out great. Darlene, Matthew and Joel’s flight from LA to Honolulu was cancelled for maintenance reasons (after waiting in the terminal for 10 hours). So, they flew to Maui instead and missed the first night of the cruise. Phewy. We found each other the next day and have thoroughly enjoyed each other and Hawaii.

Today, we went snorkelling and found a turtle (see pic with unnamed young man nearly touching it) and hundreds of beautiful fish. It was the best snorkelling the boys have ever seen. The weather, the food and the company are perfect. We have seen more rainbows in one day than we have ever seen. We are so thankful. Darlene and I have often commented how this feels a million miles away from the hospital room. And then we smile. And then we are thankful. Last week in California felt like nourishment for our spirit. This week, our bodies and souls are getting filled. Up. Thank you Jesus!

Full Days

These days have been full of wonderful things. 

The first 3 days after we arrived we submerged ourselves in Curry Blake’s teaching on praying for the sick.  It was great to get on the same page concerning how we were going to face the coming days.

We’ve visited tidal pools in San Diego so Jordan can get up close and personal with the crabs and sea anemones.  He’s hoping to set up an aquarium when we get home with an anemone and a clown fish.  Apparently they work well together.

A day was spent at Sea World enjoying dolphins, sea otters, killer whales and sea lions.  The Blake family joined us and we laughed a lot!

Jordan and Kim borrowed a pole and used wieners as bait to go fishing.  The fish were too smart this time….

And today we tackled Disney with gifted park passes.  There were times when Jordan told me that he forgot he had been sick.  And other moments when he just missed his friends at home. We used a wheelchair so that Jordan could conserve his energy.  Highlights for Jordan:  bowl of chowder in Frontier Land,  Soaring Over California ride and of course,  the roller coasters.