Friday 30 November 2012

Carried

Kim here:

Wow, what an incredible thing it is to be carried by Jesus. We have spent many hours just enjoying the affection of Jesus. So with Him, we have spoken strong declarations of truth, enjoyed glorious worship, quiet reflection, loud laughter and shed some tears. We know that people are very concerned for us - hoping that we aren’t going to hit the wall or fall of the cliff of false hope. But how can hope in Jesus be false?
I remember being worried that if Jordan died, that I would no longer believe that God was good. Truth is that I am more convinced of His goodness now than ever. Darlene said yesterday that she loves Jesus more now than she ever has before.
This might be the effect of thousands of people praying fervently for you all at once. And we don’t know how we will think and feel next week. But Jesus will be with us next week. Truth will still be truth next week.

Years ago, Jesus transformed my understanding of success. He asked me if Jeremiah from the Old Testament was a success. Don’t know. He asked me if Jesus was a success in the eyes of the world in the moment he was despised and rejected. Doesn’t look like it. So what is success? This is what Father said, “Success is listening and obeying”. Jesus said that if we came to Him, listened to Him and did what He said that we wouldn’t be crushed by the storm.  If we had defined success as healing or resurrection, then we have failed. But since we have defined success as listening and obeying, we believe that all of us who have listened and obeyed are incredibly successful. And that’s why we can wallow in the affirmation of Jesus. We have done really well. Jordan did really well.
On Tuesday morning, even after everything had been taken from him - he could no longer eat or drink and communication was incredibly difficult -  he tried to say something to us. It took us awhile to understand that that he was saying, “Why don’t we have communion?”. We were stunned. You want communion? He nodded. We wept together and praised Jesus for his body and blood given for us. Jordan could only have a flake of cracker and a drop of grape juice but that was the last thing we did together. Jordan did really well.

When the surgeon told Jordan in March that they needed to amputate his leg, he replied, “I want to be healed or I want to go to heaven. I don’t want my leg cut off”. Well, now he has both: healing and heaven, simultaneously - Not the way we would have chosen or were praying but nevertheless true.

Matthew and Joel are flying in tonight.  It is so good to be on the same page as a family and praying in the same mind.  

And, what’s up with you people in Russia? Even though people from many nations are praying for Jordan and our family, Russia came in fourth for most visits to the blog. Who are you people? Please write to the email address from the last post and let us know so we can thank you.

Many are asking about plans for a memorial celebration service - still don’t have any. Too busy worshipping and dancing today. Check back tomorrow. We may have more clarity at that point. One step at a time.

Darlene here:

I am of at least 2 minds, but I am a woman. The mother part of me wants Jordan to be kept safe.  He has been through enough suffering.  Asking him to return to earth almost feels cruel.  I went to a funeral 5 years ago where a woman had suddenly and painlessly died at the age of 50.  Her daughters stood up to speak they said they could not begrudge their mother heaven since she had already died once at the age of 10, come back to life 20 minutes later and was irritated with everyone for years.  “Why did you bring me back?”  Heaven was sooo amazing.  When she was taken to a beautiful garden she would say “It’s too bad that everything has this gray film on it....makes everything so dirty.”  Once she came to terms with being “stuck” back on earth she became a huge witness, telling everyone she met how wonderful heaven and Jesus were.  How can I ask Jordan to return if I probably wouldn’t. without significant kicking and screaming?

But then I have a “sister - in - the - Lord" perspective.  We need Jordan here as a fellow warrior.  The world needs to know that Jesus has the power to forgive sins, to set us free from sickness and death, to love us to life.  Jordan’s friends need courage to keep being the men of God they are becoming.  As his aunt Kathy put it, “Jordan’s high school needs him.”  Because they need Jesus.  And I want to empty a hospital with him and just laugh and laugh and laugh with joy.

These 2 perspectives don’t make me double-minded and I have peace about both of them soo...not our will but Yours be done Jesus.  Jordan’s room is waiting for him.  The house is stripped of wheelchairs, commodes, hospital beds, lift systems.  We can go shopping for new jeans since I’m sure by now he is well over 6 feet - taller than Joel.  And he started showing a bit of mustache in the last few weeks....we can get a shaver.  :-)  And I’m sure grade 10 math won’t be so daunting after his trip to heaven and back.  

Whenever I ask Jesus about Jordan I just see him dancing  - amazing moves that you couldn’t do on earth.  He always liked making up his own. Walking and leaping and praising God!!!

Jordan’s body is being transported to Kelowna.  He looks so gorgeous (an objective mother’s perspective) We saw his body at the Burnaby funeral home yesterday...he still has the little smirk that the nurses’ first noticed.  They have seen many children’s bodies and they were shocked with his peace. His hair is just a bit over his forehead, the way I love it and he would always laugh and push it all up.   It was good for us to sit and invite him back and submit to Jesus’ will at the same time.  We laughed and cried and laughed when we realized we didn’t have any kleenex.  Who doesn’t have kleenex in a viewing room?  And on that note, hospitals and hospices have the hardest kleenex in the world!  Sandpaper!  When visiting friends, bring Puffs or something softer.  :-)  I needed to see him since it was so painful us to witness his body taken from Canuck Place. We looked after that
body for soo long.  I wanted to ask them to especially watch the right leg.  I love that boy!