Saturday, 1 December 2012

Losing and Winning

This part of the journey is such a strange place to be in.  I love books and yet, I have never read a book to help me with where I am at this exact minute.  In a funny way, I am grateful.  It seems as if I can't mess this up or get it wrong.  I can only walk this part of the journey the best I know how.

We went to view Jordan's body today with Matthew and Joel.  They arrived early this morning.  Their flight was significantly delayed; it wasn't until after 1 in the morning that Kim and I greeted them off the plane.  Such fuzzy faces from the no-shave so dark and other so fair.  They are amazing men.  It is so wonderful to be in agreement.  We know that Jordan is having a great time in heaven and we are still hopeful he will return to join us really soon.

Funny for me how tears and laughter are not inconsistent.  Often, we laugh through our tears.  The pain hits when we look back to the torment he endured and look ahead to the possibility of not having his companionship on earth.  The laughter hits when we think of what he is up to in heaven.  Jordan loves to ask unique questions, which makes us wonder what his conversation with Abraham sounds like.  It also hits when we think about what we are doing: Together, we are believing in the resurrection power of Christ to raise up Jordan...and we blogged it.  Who does that?  Yet, when I finally fell asleep last night, the words of Jesus kept encircling over me, "When I return will I find faith on the earth?"  Was Jesus just referring to the faith that accepts His Lordship over my life, or was He talking about a faith that believes absolutely everything He said.

I have always longed to be a woman of faith--because faith pleases God and I love putting a smile on His face.  Jesus said I would do greater works than He would and it would only take a mustard seed of faith.  We have believed, but we have not seen Jordan healed this side of heaven.  Joel puts it so well, "If we say, ‘well Jordan is healed, either way--through heaven or prayer,’ then haven't we just moved the goalposts so we don't feel embarrassed for praying the prayer of faith?" I totally get it.  We lost this battle for healing on earth.  No question. Although we know the end of the story is that we win the war, Jesus returns to earth, ushers in His rule and reign, and ultimately, rids the earth of the enemy...we still lost this one.

So why don't I feel defeated?  Because I am Jordan's mom...and I am thrilled that he is living - really living.  For crying out loud, he is face to face with Jesus!!!!!  Everywhere he goes, he is unafraid.  Everyone he meets loves to meet and know him.  He belongs.  His opportunities are unlimited.  His creativity knows no bounds.  If he can think it--he can do it, because he has all the resources and all the ability.  His body is flawless and powerful.  He is surrounded by beauty. As D.L. Moody put it,  "Someday you will read in the newspaper that I am dead.  Don't believe a word of it!  I will be more alive than I have ever been."

Even with complete healing, his body would be whole but it would eventually start to decay...just as all our bodies are now decaying. All the tastes and treats he so missed eating as he became more ill couldn't possibly compare to the tastes of heaven.  On the other hand, as I mentioned in a previous blog, my perspective as a sister in the Lord says, “we could really use Jordan’s help here.”  Earth is where he can take revenge on the enemy who tortured him.  He can heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead - all signs and wonders that point to the incredible love of Jesus!  He can tell others firsthand accounts of heaven and attempt to explain what it was like to be face-to-face with Jesus.  Jordan can't do those things if he doesn't return.  And we could use some encouragement in North America to see the miraculous that seems so common in other nations.

My friend, Linda reminded me that at this point, the enemy is not in the equation.  This is between Jordy and Jesus.

We are holding a Celebration of the Life of Jesus in Jordan at 7:00pm,
Friday, December 7 at Evangel Church, 3261 Gordon Drive, Kelowna, BC.

For those at a distance, there will be live video streaming of the celebration.  We will send a link to you some time next week.