When I woke Jordan this morning for his medication, I found movement at the foot of his bed. Tucker sneaked a peak out from under the blankets with a questioning look. Ever since we started our road trip, Tucker has made Jordan's bed his regular post.
Measured Jordan's leg once again and it is down another .3 of a centimeter. Choosing to yell and shout ...to thank Father for every movement towards health. I still vote for faster versus slower. My tolerance for sickness is lessening. Was reading a bit of John G. Lake's life and when he watched half of his siblings die and personally struggled with rheumatism and blindness, there was not a lot good he had to say about disease. The first principle for those he trained to heal the sick was to be fed up with sickness.
Through the years of watching my father suffer, first with his incredible back pain, then weakened lungs from multiple pneumonia and in the last 15 years with cancer and heart disease I saw his patience and resolve to enjoy life and somehow came to accept illness as a difficult by permanent member of our family. It is so different with my strong and healthy teenager. Maybe because I did see him strong and healthy for 14 years. Maybe because I am his mother and that is that mother bear in me. Maybe because I witnessed up close too many miraculous and often instantaneous hearings over the last 2 decades that I know there is an option. With my dad as part of the great cloud of witnesses now, I cannot imagine he would want us to quit pursuing complete restoration for his youngest grandchild. Yet these last few days have been excruciating for me...I think for Jordan as well.
The battle in my mind is so loud, I am surprised those near me can't hear it. It was wild to sit in the gatherings at Bethel and witness people from around the globe receiving instant hearings for their body....so fun! Knees with metal in them that previously couldn't bend were now jumping, cysts were disappearing before our eyes....with everything in me I wanted to see the entire mass on Jordan's leg shrivel before his eyes. Instead he received more prayer and we returned to Canada choosing to believe before we see.
Jordan had another dream where he was fighting 4 witches. They were hideous and strong. The battle was extended with no evidence of movement on either side. All of a sudden, he remembered that he was not alone and that God was in him. As he reached out to touch each one, his finger or weapon would pierce their defenses and shatter them.
Sometimes from the back of the truck on the way home Jordan would request prayer for his hope. He and Kim had long talks about battles in the mind. At those times, I would take the back seat and nap. We did take mini-detours on the way home into redwood country and the California coastline. Normally the ocean brings me such life - displaying the never-ending majesty and power of God. But with Jordan initially staying put in the back of the truck rather than struggle over the driftwood and rocks with his crutches, Tucker was the one who went wild on the sand with the waves and made me laugh. Laughter in the middle of pain...
By the time we reached Deception Pass in Washington, Jordan was up for a marshmallow roast on the beach. Much more enjoyable and I don't mind my burnt ones at all - maybe I even meant to let them catch on fire.
And at the tail end of the trip, what a treat to make a quick dash into the Abbotsford hospital on the way home to hold my friend's newborn baby girl! I had not entered a hospital with such joy in...forever.
Someday I look forward to meeting each and every person who has been holding up our arms during this time. I know for sure that I didn't get many thank you emails or notes out, especially in the first few months.