Recovery

Yesterday Jordan was deaccessed and discharged. Every time we leave the hospital there is this sense of a need to recover: recover from being apart, being hooked up to a machine, being tested and examined, having no privacy and little freedom. Kim and Jordan are thinking of buying a remote control car since two of the boys here have one. They race, build ramps, and it doesn't require a lot of exertion. So strange as a mom to look for low energy activities that Jordan loves to do. Amazing to me is how consistently parents appreciate prayer for their sick children. No parent has yet to say, "No thank you".... Or even hesitate.

Hammer Time

Our wonderful friend, Chris sent us this quote yesterday on persevering prayer: "I look at a stone cutter hammering away at a rock a hundred times without so much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the 101st blow it splits in two. I know it was not the one blow that did it, but all that had gone before."

Let's hammer away!  While the PET scan shows cancer has been halted, it needs to stay away.  And Jordan requires a new right femur that will not break so he can walk and leap and praise God.

Surreal

It has been suggested to us that we ask Jordan to think about his "Make a Wish" - a special event or trip that he could choose. So now we are officially "that family". As I sit by Jordan having an hour and a half MRI, normal living seems so ridiculously far away. Yet we're surrounded by so many parents and children who are walking the same road. I have met a few families who choose not to return home in between treatments because it's just too strange for them. Today has been a day of tests....so proud of Jordan. Watching my son be poked, prodded and scanned is not how I'd like to spend a spring day with him. Don't know how to thank each one who is persevering in prayer for Jordan's life and complete wholeness. We owe you a debt of love.

Blessings

So wonderful to have a stark contrast from yesterday. Jordan has an appetite! He is resting well! And experiencing very little nausea! All 3 are not usually consistent with his chemo in-hospital experiences. He is thanking God and so are we....Big time!
Oh yes, Jordan has officially names his hat - Gary - just so you know.

One Day at a Time

I flew in from Texas this morning. It was a great trip with fantastic connections and truth.
Darlene and I met with the oncologist today to discuss the results of the PET scan – which she said were dramatic (in a positive way). The cancerous cells have significantly decreased and are not spreading and for that we are very grateful. She also had some more information about the longer term prognosis that was quite sobering. We are meeting with the surgeon next Monday to hear what he has to say.

Jordan started and finished round 6 of chemo as well today.  That’s a hard hospital form to sign. We know it’s the best the medical community has. But the effects are brutal.

Our emotions are all over the place, which is why we don’t live on a foundation of our emotions. We live on a foundation of truth and love. We live by faith and not by sight. We don’t deny the facts, but the facts must submit to the truth. Truth wins. Jesus wins. All other ground is sinking sand. 

Sanctuary

These last few days have been so great for Jordan's body and soul. For 2 days he's had virtually no nausea - incredible! One of the RMH managers stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Jordan's smile...she said she hadn't seen it before and it was fantastic! It was so fun to watch Jordan's sense of humor return with a vengeance. One night we had a non-creepy clown come to the house and mesmerize the kids with his balloon creations - anything they asked for - whole costumes - created a party atmosphere and gave Jordan an opportunity to connect with a few of the guys who have been here long term. Today we were able to visit Jordan's uncle and aunt's farm with virgin forest, ponds and trails. My heart hurt when at one point he wanted to go home. He said it was hard to see something so beautiful, want to explore it and not be able to...and not know when he will be able to. The sorrow is deep - he can't run away from his body. At the same time, he began the morning by stating that he doesn't want to give up. And then he prayed over his body.

Believing

Ronald McDonald House is a wonderful and wild place for us. It's wonderful because it is cheerful, cozy, NOT the hospital. The volunteers and staff are helpful but not intrusive or questioning. The other families are on a common mission - to make it through a nightmare to daylight. Many of the children have lost their hair so baldness is common. Our own room offers privacy and the common rooms allows us to be in a kind of community if we choose. By now I'm quite comfortable with two families - one where both parents are here with their 13 year old son and the other where the mom lives here with her 10 year old son and the husband and 3 sisters are visiting over spring break. Quite the memorable spring break for them I'm sure. Last night I was able to give the parents a shove out of the house to have a date while I kept an eye on their kids. Wow it felt so great to give something (to someone other than Jordan)- I feel like all I'm doing is taking during this season.

The PET scan started early this morning with Jordan acting as navigator while we drove to the clinic (not located at Children's hospital). Just before we began, Kim was able to Skype call and bless Jordan. The nurse and I both had tears. The process took several hours and Jordan was great - kept putting nausea in its place. Last night he couldn't keep any food down for several hours so we weren't sure how he would fare. We celebrated with a strawberry smoothie and Chinese takeout - just in case he feels like eating later. Jordan's Oncologist and Surgeon will meet with Kim and me on Monday to go over the results and to make a forward plan. If Kim and I would only just accept that the whole process is inevitable and see sickness as just part of life, it feels like the journey would be more straight forward. We would just put our heads down and deal with what comes. But we're looking for and believing for healing - for wholeness.  And we're expecting miraculous things because we serve not only a kind, but a powerful God. Thank you for standing with us.

Learning Curve

Sometimes the nausea acts like an enemy. It blind sides Jordan, doubles him over and takes him out.  That's when he asks for prayer.  So as you can imagine we are praying a lot.  And since it's a lot, we often run out of words.  So grateful for tongues - to speak and let God translate.  Also grateful for Holy Spirit's groaning on our behalf. And for lots of Scripture to pray.  A real battle, with a real enemy, real weapons and a sense of urgency.  Because even though this is a season, there is an outcome that means the difference between life and death.

Tomorrow we part ways.  Kim flies out to Texas (yea points) to meet with our teaching mentor, Curry Blake, who specializes in the arena of equipping all believers to lay hands on the sick and see them recover.  His instruction from the Word of God has been life to us.  And given us opportunity to repent - change our mind - about some of the things we've believed and taught as we search the Scriptures and see things we've been blind to. Very humbling.

"The power of God to salvation" in Rom 1:16 is the Greek word 'Soteria' meaning to deliver, save, heal, protect and make whole.  And 1 Tim 2:3-2 "who desires all men to be saved" is the Greek 'Sozo' meaning to heal, to deliver, to preserve, to save, to protect, to do well and to make whole".  I didn't see the relationship between salvation and healing before.  It was all about eternity, not really for today.

My experience with healing in the past has been hit and miss so it was easier to try to identify the obstacles to healing rather than settle in to the truth of God's Word on the matter. It didn't help that my Dad died suffering 2 years ago. But I don't have to try to explain every situation where someone I love hasn't been healed.  I get to rest and rely on instructions to believers in the Scriptures that have withstood the test of time. "Faithful is He who calls you who also will do it."

Jordan and I are flying in to Vancouver for his PET scan early Friday morning.  We`re trusting his nausea will go so he can lay still for the 45 minute scan.  And we`re anticipating the results we`ve all prayed for.  There are times when I catch myself holding my breath.  

Training

Don’t let the video fool you.  Tucker doesn’t fetch.  I took him for a walk minutes after Jordan reminded him of how it all worked. He ran to catch the ball, promptly deposited it on the nearest lawn and sat down to wait for me to come and retrieve it.  All the way down the cul de sac and back.  J

That’s probably been Jordan’s highlight and period of nausea reprieve.  This last round has been pretty rough.  We’re in no hurry to return.  And the doctor has agreed to hold off until next week.  Our PET scan is delayed until Friday morning to allow Jordan some recovery time.  We’re asking for a completely clear scan - the 5 tumours completely gone.  The doctor has said it’s not possible.  Somehow that made me more hopeful since God`s Word says with Him all things are possible.  He specializes in these situations. 

Just received word this weekend from my friend who had informed me last month on a 10 year old boy admitted to Childrens Hospital last month with a fever that resulted in a coma.  The medical staff ascertained that his brain had moved into a vegetative state gave him days to live, so we have prayed. He is the son of a mutual acquaintance from college.  We prayed and today he is making what they describe as a miraculous recovery.  He is walking, talking, playing, and I am sure, praising God.

Road Trip

We've spent the day waiting on Jordan's counts to come down enough to leave the hospital. In order not to do damage to his organs, they flush his system with saline. This means throughout the night he's awakened to use the bathroom and walking around with one of those IV poles. But now we're flying along the TransCanada heading home listening to worship music LOUDLY and praying LOUDLY since we can. The sky is filled with clouds and the sun is shining. Snow on the mountains beckon us to cross. We haven't attempted this before with Jordan's nausea but he really wants to go home and he wants to drive. The big PET scan comes up on Wed am and we're expecting good things. But of course the intimidating thoughts threaten. Right now I am just loving being with my men. Jordan's faith is so humbling for me to witness. He is not bitter or angry or feeling sorry for himself. That is supposed to be the description of an average teenage boy. We are asking outrageous things and believing God meant it when He said "Ask". We had a family trip planned for the end of April when Matt and Joel are finished their school year. We're asking to be able to go....with Jordan healthy...walking and leaping and praising God. The doctors have prescribed a minimum of 10 months of chemo with surgeries throughout. We are 2 and 1/2 months into it and we've had enough. We're ready for our miracle.

Keep Those Good Reports Coming!

More good news today from the room next to us on the ward. The 12 year old who has been in the hospital for over a year with a brain tumour had a recent MRI scan and "the doctors were very surprised" with the sudden shrinkage of the tumour. They are looking to maybe two more chemo rounds and then be done. Soo great. When Kim asked the mom about it she said that she believed prayer made the difference. Our friends from Texas had prayed with them when they visited, along with us.

Jordan's counts look good so who knows, maybe we'll be driving home tomorrow morning. Not easy to plan.  In fact, there are times like today when I can't quite imagine what life is like outside of what we're experiencing. This is so all-encompassing.  Looking forward is tricky.

Yesterday a new friend delivered a week's worth of homemade food and snacks on behalf of friends in Abbotsford. She had lived in the hospital for 3 months. I had no idea there was this alternate reality that so many are dealing with and have had to deal with. But we're being loved both by those who "get it" and those who can only "imagine it".  

Two C Words

Hi friends, Cheryl Molenaar here.

Thanks for continuing to pray, send cards and gifts and encouragement and faith towards the Unraus. It is felt in a great way. Last week we had the opportunity to see Jordan. He looked great, and was smiling up a storm, enjoying home, his family and friends and his own bed!!!

Back in February, we let you know about the fundraiser and the outpouring of love that occurred that night. . If you can't remember, click here to read about it.

That night, Graham Ord (one of the musicians) brought forward a song that he had written just for Jordan and his journey. I wanted to share the story of this song with you and invite you to share it with others. You can purchase this song right on Graham Ord's website and all proceeds of the sale of the song will go to the Unrau's until we hear of Jordan's complete healing.

Here's the story:

Make sure you go to Graham's site to read more about his heart on this song.
Here it is. Enjoy!

So Blessed

Good News! Jordan has gained 10 pounds since he was last weighed at the hospital. Sad News...we're back at the hospital. Jordan and I flew and Kim made the 4 hour drive through the mountains. The weather was great so that made for an enjoyable ride. Our flight was turbulent and triggered Jordan's nausea so Jordan had me praying him through it out loud on the plane. So glad it's just a 45 minute flight. When I asked him how he was doing with the thought of leaving home again, he answered that he's not found it helpful to anticipate negative things...sheesh. Jordan is taking it all better than we are. His common remark is "I'm so blessed". And then he proceeds to recount the blessings that have popped into his mind. Again reminded of all the wonderful family and friends (new and old) who are praying. We are so rich. Thank you.

What a sound!

The sound of teenage boys laughing, cheering, being silly and being so creative with playing games is filling our home, and at points, our lawn with the best sounds you can imagine.  I ended up recording the sound for later joy.  So grateful - so thankful - so blessed for Jordan to have such great friends.  Most of them have been friends since we moved to Kelowna 11 years ago.  Jordan woke this morning to declare he was feeling good enough to host a board game party this afternoon.  Well, he's still feeling great into the evening so I've put some pizzas into the oven and it's feeling to me like old times.  Thank you Jesus.

AND a friend stopped by with a gift accompanying some wonderful news.  Her niece's infant has been on the same floor as Jordan this past month with cancerous tumours.  We and others commanded cancer and tumors to leave.  And the latest report from the doctors is that "They've never seen anything like it"  The tumours have shrunk so dramatically that they're retesting.
May that be true of the entire floor of children - including Jordan - that the physicians declare "They've never seen anything like it!"  

Kindness Everywhere

What an incredible thing to experience the kindness we have as a family.  The financial gifts are a constant reminder of the provision of God when we're in such a vulnerable position.  I am reminded of the conversation I had with God at the very beginning of this journey.  Late at night in bed, I asked Him how we would be able to make it with all the additional expenses and the need to take a break from work to support Jordan and each other.  So quickly the words came, "You're thinking like an orphan."  And I was.
When will my first thoughts be to expect the very best?  To know - as in the "experiential knowledge" that God has good things planned for us - for Jordan.  Fears are so close.  Jesus is closer. Jordan is living in the moment.
I awoke from a nap this afternoon with the verses "Be anxious for NOTHING ringing in my mind"...and "Don't worry about tomorrow".  So even though it feels irresponsible, I am choosing not to even think about what is next.  And what could be. It takes running after my thoughts sometimes and bringing them back to this moment.  Jordan sitting between Kim and I in front of the fireplace, worship playing "when my world is shaking, when my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands, the hands that made the world, are holding me, holding me still".  He is so good.

In This Corner....

Weighing in at OVER 100 pounds - 100.8 to be precise - Jordaaaaan Unrauuuuuuuu!!!!  Cheering crowds.

Quiet Days are highly underrated

Beautiful day!

Jordan awoke early and made his way downstairs without help.  Ate 2 bowls of cereal and yogurt.  Recreated his lego machines on the floor in his sunny bedroom with Tucker at his feet and listening to the audio books of Sherlock Holmes.  He emerged from his room dressed in jeans and a button down dress shirt "just because I have had cancer, doesn't mean I have to live in pjs".  Jordan`s friend, Matt Keery came over and walked him through math homework and it all became ever so much clearer - Yahoo!  No mention of nausea - did I say Yahoo. All the while snacking and eating and thanking God for a good day.

Joel just serves and anticipates the needs of Jordan.  He finds hilarious stuff to watch and has ways of sliding food to Jordan in a way that doesn't resemble my pushy mom way. We'll miss him when he leaves Thursday.  So good to be able to just pop out with Kim for a few minutes.

My mind requires focus on the now and the anticipated goodness of God.  Being a planner, I lean towards the future but the pain and sorrow in planning to return to the hospital or deal with further chemo treatments or surgery is overwhelming.  And yet when I anticipate the worst, I'm not enjoying and trusting the grace that is provided each day.....specifically today.  I scramble to stand on truth and rehearse the miracles God has performed in the life of our family and friends.  I need to live in faith.  I was created to live by faith - to be a participant in miracles - as earth as it is in heaven.

Kim, as his habit, is immersing himself in Scripture and loving the expanded translation by Kenneth Wuest of the New Testament in the Greek.  Wow!  Jesus was serious about us as believers praying for the sick, freeing the oppressed and living miraculously.  Our world is aching for the miraculous.  We see the hunger in all the books, tv shows and movies around us.

So God, thank you for being soo much bigger and inviting us to take our place as children and ambassadors.

Reprieve

It's as if in the middle of a sustained battle we have a reprieve.  Jordan has had a few close calls with nose bleeds which wouldn't stop - we'd have to go to the hospital for a transfusion.  It stopped when commanded to in Jesus' Name.  What a name!
Jordan right leg above the knee is still 10 cm larger than the left. It has decreased from weeks ago. As of yesterday it was down by 5 cm. Some of the lessening has been post biopsy swelling and chemo/prayer. We are not sure how much for each.  We're praying for complete restoration of the bone that was distorted along with the dissolving of tumours.
We have a PET scan date of March 21st.  PET scans provide the imaging of the tumours - or of in Jordan's case - the lack of.  It would provide the doctors with a map of if, where and how many surgeries would need to take place.
When Jordan went into the hospital he was 118 lbs at 5'11".  A lean growing machine. Yesterday morning he was 97 lbs.  So our goal is a pound a day :-).  And this morning he is 97.8.  Pretty good, huh? He is pushing through the nausea and lack of appetite to scan for what he could possibly eat throughout the day.  The way we jump to make it happen quickly reminds Kim of satisfying his pregnant wife with random and "urgent" food requests. On many an occasion, by the time we had the food available, he was unable to eat it....crazy.
Yesterday we celebrated by going as a family, with extended family and many of Jordan's friends to the Dr. Seuss movie "The Lorax".  Intense movies just don't work as well for Jordan right now.  It was fun to just be together.
We are so grateful for your agreement and support.
Here is a video:

Delayed

Yesterday I walked about for the first half of the day somewhat traumatized.  It was if I was coming off the adrenaline high of the last few days/weeks.  And I couldn't get some of the images of Jordan in agony out of my mind/heart.  I was a beaten woman.  And then, the loving of my mom, the sensitivity of my husband and eldest son and the request of Jordan to go to Jesus to find peace (since apparently I wasn't hiding my pain very well) was like salve on my wounds.
And last night, just going over Scripture with Matt and Kim on healing and the power of God.  I am restored.   Joel was scheduled to fly in last night at 10pm from college so we could all be together for two full days before Matt returns to school.  His flight was delayed on the ground in Regina so he missed his flight in Calgary.  They put him up in a hotel and was rescheduled to fly in this morning at 8:15, then 9:20, then 10, then 11:00, then 11:16.  Frustrating for him...and yet somehow, it made Kim and I both think at the same time last night that these delays in the natural seem to mirror the delays we are experiencing in the supernatural with Jordan's healing.  The delays are real and frustrating.  In Jordan's case - excruciating!  But healing is ours and as sure as Joel has landed just now - Jordan's healing is sure. Because God's Word is true.